Sunday 9 September 2012

The Mad Professor - too much IQ can be dangerous

Warning - this post contains no photos due to the circumstances at the time and the sensitivity of the subjects work.
In previous posts I have touched on the Mad Professor, whom we ended up living with during the final stages of WW II, mainly brought about by my insistence to arrive in this world during a bombing raid.

Professor Lyons was, by all accounts, an eminent physicist that worked at the Auergesellschaft in Oranienburg, an outer northern suburb of Berlin. He was engaged in research on something that could provide a lot of power (electricity) without the need to import shiploads of coal or oil.
Later on that research was directed more towards producing something that could deliver the 'Big Bang' and save the 'Moustached' ones arse from loosing the war.

Dad met the Professor in the mid 1930's in the Kneipe (local pub) they both frequented. Apparently they hit it off spiffingly and had many a late night discussion about the current incumbent 'Fuehrer', world politics in general and nuclear science specifically. Not a bad feat for either gentleman - Dad hadn't completed high school and the Prof knew about as much about politics as could be written on the back of a postage stamp. But a great time they had, trying their darnedest to expand the others knowledge of the subject/s they knew little or nothing about.

In about 1938 the Prof said to my dad: "Herbert, there is war on the horizon, it would be most prudent to get out of Berlin". Dad snorted at the thought, being Berlin bred and raised, and put it all down to another fairy fancy of the Prof. Anyhow, Prof took his own advice and purchased a property in Neue Muehle, about 30 km south-east of Berlin. Even with him living there they still managed to have their bi-weekly get together, either in the Kneipe or at our flat - much to the consternation of my mum since these sessions tended to go on well into the night. The Prof would manage, on most occasions, to just catch the last suburban train to Koenigs Wusterhausen and then face a 3 km walk to reach his home. From all accounts, the guys seemed to manage on very little sleep when bigger issues were involved.

Thus, come 1943 and my arrival in this world. Prof had urged my dad to move in with him ever since the war started. Once I turned up on this planet dad was out of Berlin like shot. The Prof was delighted - he was not very good at housekeeping and relished in the fact that mum would keep the house clean, cook his meals when he remembered to turn up, do his washing and ironing and dad keeping the garden in some sort of shape with the help of the Russian POW's.

When the war finally ended disaster loomed. The Prof had, for obvious reasons, lost his employment and was at a loss as to what to do. With summer coming up he hit on a rather novel  way to keep himself occupied and entertained. In the late afternoon / early evening he would, several times a week, take to the street reciting formulaes and chanting about the end of the universe. No great harm in that - except he would do it stark naked, which frightened the living daylights out of the handsome maidens in the village and gave the more mature women naughty nightmares.

Eventually, about mid-July, he cranked that caper up a notch or two. He would march up and down the main drag, still naked, but armed with a rather larger kitchen knife that he wielded from side to side. He threatened anybody that thought of coming near him to carve them up into tiny Atoms!
That was taking things a weenie bit too far. Somebody informed the authorities and rather soon the men in the white overcoats arrived, defied his knife-wielding and carted him off to - where?
We were told he'd been taken to a secure mental institution (if there was such a thing in them days) but some people in the village, who had rather good connections to the powers that be, hinted that he had been taken on a holiday to Russia, since he had a lot of very valuable information stored in his memory.

Nothing was ever heard of the Professor again and nobody asked too many questions - not a healthy environment to do so if you wanted to survive.


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